20 Bible Verses for Dealing with Difficult People

But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. 
Luke 6:27-29

Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you.
Luke 6:30-31

If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.
Luke 6:32-34

Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.
Luke 6: 35-36

Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
2 Timothy 2:23-26

 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
Matthew 5:46

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
Matthew 18:15

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:43-48

 Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
Proverbs 9:7-9

 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
Proverbs 10:12

 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
John 13:35

 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends
John 15:13

 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3

 We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:19

 A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
Proverbs 15:1

 A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.
Proverbs 12:16

 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.
Ephesians 4:2-3

 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.
Galatians 5:13

 Instead “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”
Romans 12:20

 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.
1 Peter 3:9

 A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.
Proverbs 17:27-28

 See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:15-18

Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with difficult people is a part of life. One that as a Christian, we are expected to handle in a loving way. The Bible is full of instructions on how we are to present ourselves when encountering difficult people. It is also good to note that everyone has a different personality, what may seem like a difficult person to you, may not even seem like a difficult person to someone else.

Dealing with Difficult People is Not Easy

I wanted to give you some bible verses to keep handy when you encounter these types of people that you have trouble dealing with. It seems when I started brainstorming on blog topics to write and this topic came to mind that everywhere I turned from that moment I have come in contact with people I consider difficult. It never fails that I personally walk through a struggle that I want to speak on. Speaking from personal experience, I know it is not easy to turn the other cheek when someone is treating you poorly!

How You React

These verses and methods are for me as much as they are for you. We have to train ourselves to handle things more calmly. There are varying things that affect the way you react when encountering difficult people. How you were raised, your level of patience and understanding, or your temper; all of these things factor into how you respond. Some people bottle their emotions in, others fly off the handle, and a select few over the years have mastered the art of calmly handling difficult people.

Lean on God in your Weakness

Those people usually have the support of the Holy Spirit! There’s a lot that we cannot do of our own volition as our flesh almost always picks the bad option. But, with the holy spirit, we have the strength to handle things the right way. The biggest thing is leaning on God in these moments of weakness and not allowing it to overwhelm you. You have control over your emotions and how you respond!

Control What You Can Control

We are never going to be able to control how others act and approach us. And, some people will intentionally do things to irk you. Unfortunately, it is a part of life and one that the sooner you learn to master, the more peace you will have. Life is too short to give others power over your emotions.

“See that No One Pays Back Evil for Evil”

Thessalonians says: “See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” We are to ALWAYS try to do good to each other and to ALL people. We are to be joyful and never stop praying. This is God’s WILL for those who belong to Jesus. 

“Even fools are thought wise when they keep Silent.”

I’m putting extra emphasis on those words as it doesn’t say to be good only to those who are good to you, but all people, always. That includes the ones who are rude, mean, and spiteful. Proverbs says: “A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.” The best thing we can do in these situations is to keep our mouths shut, step away, pause, reflect, and pray. 

When you want to let your flesh take over the situation try these methods first.

1. Stay Quiet!

Our mouths can land us in some serious trouble. As mentioned, Proverbs says even fools are seen to be wise when they keep silent. So you will be considered wise just by staying quiet. I know it can eat us alive not saying something, but we can end up causing chaos when if we had just stayed silent that situation would have likely de-escalated, and later when we calmed down likely wouldn’t have even given it a second thought. Vengeance belongs to the Lord! We do not have to take it upon ourselves to seek our own vengeance. Rest easy knowing God knows and He’s got your back!

2. Step Away

If you are able, step away from the encounter with the difficult person. Go outside, get some fresh air, anything to allow yourself to think more clearly. Try not to let yourself get completely overwhelmed before stepping away. You do not have to go into detail, you can simply politely excuse yourself.

3. Pause and Reflect

Take a moment to pause and reflect. Pause and consider what emotions you are feeling and why. Are you angry? If so, what did they say or do to make you angry? Is it something that triggered a past memory that brought back old emotions? Is it something worth allowing them to steal your peace? If not, pause and let it go! Surrender it to God, it is not worth it. This life is gone in the blink of an eye, it’s not worth it to let people steal your joy.

4. Pray

Spend a moment in prayer with God. Ask God to give you the wisdom to handle the situation in a godly manner. Surrender all of your negative emotions to Him and focus on things that truly matter. Pray for God to give you the strength to control your emotions and let go. Recite His word in prayer as we can always stand on His word as truth. Lastly, give thanks. Often giving thanks for all that you have to be thankful for is the best medicine and puts things into perspective. 

Give it Time.

A great way to look at it is if you wouldn’t still be upset about this in a month, why even bother giving it a second of your time? Often things we get so distraught over we don’t even think twice about even 2 weeks later. Why let that ruin your day and cause you to have a sour mood with every person you come in contact with afterward?

You have control over how you respond

Proverbs says a gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. You have control and when you speak calmly and nicely, it’s hard for someone to keep acting ugly. But, if you are harsh to them, you can expect to end up in a nasty situation with two out of control tempers and say or do something you will regret. 

IF you have love for one another

John says, “By this, all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” We are called to love everyone. We will be known for how we treat one another. You can easily identify if someone loves someone by how they treat them. Start paying attention to how you treat others, do you show them respect and treat them as a child of God? 

What Matthew says about loving difficult people

Matthew talks about how easy it is to love those who love you. Even sinners do that! It’s a true test to love those who do not love you. Those who are evil love those who love them back. We are called to be different than them. We are to love everyone. 

You Represent Jesus

Too often I hear people say how they dislike Christians. Typically, it is because someone who proclaimed to be a Christian hurt them. It seems to be those who have to self-proclaim that they are a Christian are the ones who do the most damage. You should not have to go around telling everyone that you are a Christian. They should know you are a child of God by how you carry yourself. Be kind as Jesus is kind. 

Treat others how you wish to be treated.

Use this method to control yourself. Always make sure you are representing what you claim to be. When people know you are a Christian it can put a target on your back. They will always be watching to see how you carry yourself. Do your best to treat everyone how you want to be treated!

And remember….

“If the world hates you, remember it hated me first.”

John 15:18