5 Stages of Grief with Scripture
I feel grief is something we all experience in one way or another. Whether it’s the loss of a relationship or the death of a loved one often comes grief. Today we’ll discuss the 5 stages of grief. Then, we will go into a conclusion of how God can help you through your grief and get into what his word says about mourning. For Scriptures referenced in this post and other helpful verses, please visit end of the post, or our Comforting Scriptures for Grief and Loss post.
Denial:
The Oxford Languages defines denial as the action of declaring something to be untrue. Often when we lose a loved one, especially suddenly, we often face denial. We feel like it can’t be true. Fearing that if we accept it, it makes it real. Regardless if we accept it or stay in denial it is real. Once we accept it’s real is usually when the Anger stage of grief sets in.
Anger:
A common emotion when dealing with grief is anger. We’re often mad at the world. Angry with God wondering why he let this happen. We often want to accept God is good in the good times, but want to blame Him in the bad times. God is good all the time despite circumstances. As long as there is free will, you will have evil things. Evil comes with choice.
Bargaining:
Amid our anger, we often beg God to take us instead. To bring our loved ones back and take us. We bargain anything and everything. Offer to give up bad habits or anything in hopes God will accept our offer and hope it takes away our pain.
Depression:
Once we’ve bargained everything we have to offer, the depression sets in. Knowing that nothing we can do can bring our loved ones back. Almost all people struggling through grief experience depression. This stage may last longer for some than others. It’s okay if it takes you longer to come out of your depression than others. God made us all unique and it’s okay not to be okay.
Acceptance:
Once we start to come out of the darkness of our depression, we begin to accept reality. We accept that they are gone and no amount of anger, bargaining, or anything we can do will bring them back. This is the dawn of a new day and we know we have to move on for our loved ones. To accept that our loved one is in Heaven with no more suffering and it’s in their memory we should move on. They wouldn’t want us to stay in the dark forever. All they would want is to see you happy again.
God’s Got You
Be patient and allow yourself to heal. Don’t set your pace based on how others grieve. One day you’ll wake up and the sun will feel a little warmer, the breeze will smell sweeter, and a feeling of unexplainable peace will come over you. At this moment, you will know that God has got you. He’s always had you and you’ll realize how to live again.
“These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
Matthew 6:32-33 NLT
Use Your Grief to Propel You Forward
I think it’s important in these situations to remember things will be different. Different isn’t always bad. Sometimes loss and grief triggers change that propels you in a direction you wouldn’t have normally taken. You will be pushed out of your comfort zone. Therefore, don’t be surprised if you feel uncomfortable for a little while. Let this influence you to be better, do better, and appreciate things and people you may have taken for granted before.
Don’t Get Trapped in a Negative Mindset
In Matthew it says can all these worries add a single moment to your life? No matter where you are at in life or struggling through it’s important to not get lost in yourself. Don’t allow yourself to get trapped in a negative mindset. Living in a state of constant worry cannot add a single moment to your life.
“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”
Matthew 6:27 NLT
Today’s Troubles Are Enough For Today
It goes on in Matthew to tell us not to worry about tomorrow. Today’s trouble is enough for today. When going through grief it’s important to not worry about tomorrow. Take things day by day and moment by moment. You will get through this a moment at a time. Don’t focus too much on the future and what you will do. For right now, just focus on how to get through the day.
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
Matthew 6:34 NLT
God Is Near to the Broken Hearted
It also says in the Bible the lord hears your prayer for mercy. Don’t let your prayer life take the backseat during struggles and grief. God is near to the broken-hearted. He hears your prayers and He is with you through this. Keep praying and meditating in His word daily. You may not have the strength to go on during this, but He does. Draw on His strength and peace. You will have a feeling of supernatural peace and calmness if you are getting your strength from Him.
God Blesses Those Who Mourn
In Romans, it says God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God. As long as you love God and are continuing to seek Him and His kingdom first, no matter what bad the enemy throws your way God will turn it to good and use it for His glory. It says God blesses those who mourn for they will be comforted. Allow God to be your rock and your comfort during this time. People can only do so much to be there for you during your hard times. God is a never-ending source of love, peace, and fulfillment.
“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4 NLT
Let God Set the Expectation
Don’t set expectations of how you think He will help you through this. God will come through in the way that you need, but not always the way that you would expect. Keep God as your anchor at all times, but especially during times of grief and pain. Don’t fall victim to temporary comforts of the world such as drugs, toxic relationships, or other distractions. The comforts of the world are temporary and will lead to destruction. Honor the memory of your loved one by being your best self.
Resources to help the grief process and for tips for those grieving through the holidays can be found here.
Verses Referenced in this Post:
“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4 NLT
“God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.”
Matthew 5:8 NLT
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Romans 8:28 NLT
“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”
Matthew 6:27 NLT
“These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
Matthew 6:32-33 NLT
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
Matthew 6:34 NLT
“I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!”
Psalms 116:1-2 NLT
“The Lord cares deeply when his loved ones die.”
Psalms 116:15 NLT
“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”
Proverbs 16:9 NLT
Remember: It’s okay to not be okay. But, it’s just not okay to stay there.
For resources to help you with your grief and when grieving during the Holidays click here.
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If you enjoyed this, you may enjoy our Thanksgiving Devotional post. Sometimes when grieving it helps to shift your focus to things you are thankful for.
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